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Fourteenth Sunday After Pentecost
Light of Christ Anglican Church
The Rev. Mike Moffitt, August 29, 2021


What Love Looks Like


Text: John 13:31–35

Most of us have spent some time in a waiting room while we wait for our car to be worked on, or get new tires, or an oil change. While waiting I enjoy listening to people explain to the person behind the counter what they feel they need. It can be very entertaining. At one point in time I was the person behind the counter at a Tire America Center. One day we had an elderly lady come in and ask how much we would charge to replace the winter air in her tires with summer air. She explained that in the past she had been having this done at one of our competitors and they had charged her $10 a tire to change the air. She felt it needed to be done again because her car wasn’t driving as smoothly as before. Perhaps it was because she had the wrong type of air in her tires.

I explained that we didn’t charge for air, and ours was sufficient for year-round use. We did however find out why her car wasn’t riding smoothly.

Another person had come to us for an oil change the day before but came back in because her battery was dead. She was furious that while we changed her oil we had killed her battery. I could go on with these kinds of stories.

Recently, I have been reminded of these stories as I listen to explanations of why our country, and actually the world, seems to be coming apart at the seams. Many in leadership positions are committed to making absurd decisions or proposals that they assure us will turn the country around financially, militarily, morally and politically. It doesn’t take a scholar to see that in reality, their plans will lead to even greater chaos, godlessness and anarchy. It’s difficult to believe that our citizens can be so gullible and naïve. As I listen to the arrogant assertions that their plans will solve our problems, it reminds me of that dear lady who had believed that the problem with her car's steering was due to the wrong kind of air in the tires.

Proverbs 8:35–36 speaking about wisdom says, “For whoever finds me finds life and obtains favor from the Lord, 36but he who fails to find me injures himself; all who hate me love death.”

I doubt that there are many who would say that they love death but consider this through the lens of Proverbs 21:16, “One who wanders from the way of good sense will rest in the assembly of the dead.”

A person who refuses to turn away from foolishness in order to get back to the right way of living, or just mindlessly drifts with the current, should not be surprised when they meet with death. As a matter of fact, the Bible teaches that they actually show they prefer death rather than life. Jesus said in John 10:10 that He came that we might have life and have it abundantly, or another way of saying it, that we might have the life we were originally intended to have. Any and every other path leads to death…eternally.

In the Old and New Testaments the word that is commonly used for “sin” is defined as “missing the mark” which is often a term referring to archery. In the New Testament the word is hamartano and it can mean missing the mark and also mean straying from the path. It indicates that the person is likely not intentionally heading in the wrong direction, but they missed the target or the desired destination.

Why would this happen? If glorifying God is not the goal then it’s not hard to miss the mark or stray from the path that he offers us in Christ. Our Psalm this morning, probably written several thousand years ago, describes the very same problem that we have today. Consider the first two and last two verses of Psalm 12,

Save, O Lord, for the godly one is gone;
      for the faithful have vanished from among the children of man.
Everyone utters lies to his neighbor;      
     with flattering lips and a double heart they speak…

Preserve us, O Lord,
     and save us from this perverse and evil generation.
The ungodly walk on every side
    when wickedness is exalted among the children of men.”

Last week we saw from Joshua 24:14–25 and John 6:60–69 that God has always called his people to make up their minds to follow him at all cost, or be honest enough to stop pretending to. In Joshua 24, as Israel was preparing to take possession of the land first promised to their father Abraham, Joshua stands before the children of Israel and tells them that it was time to decide who they would serve. The only choices were the God of Israel or the gods of the other nations. Joshua left no doubt as to his decision as he declared in Joshua 24:15, “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” He let them know that their commitment must be total or not at all.

We saw that Jesus taught his disciples in Luke 14 to count the cost of following him and decide if the cost was worth the benefit. Our passage from John 6:60–69 showed us that the 12 disciples decided to continue to follow Jesus even when the hundreds or thousands that had been following him decided that his teaching was too hard to hear. Why did they decide to stay? Peter said it best, “Lord, where would we go? You alone have the words of life.”

We ended last week by pointing out that when we study the Book of Acts, the Epistles and books on church history, we find that those men and women who persevered faithfully were the foundation of the church of Jesus Christ. They lived and died for him because they had encountered him through the witness of his word and the indwelling presence of the Holy Spirit. It changed everything, and they knew that nothing this world had to offer could compare with the relationship they had with Jesus—and it was forever and ever. They followed his word even when they found themselves at cross purposes with the culture around them. They were willing to pay the price, even of their lives, because they counted the cost and decided that Jesus was worth it.

This morning I want to consider our Old Testament passage and our Epistle reading and draw a comparison between the ideal offered to the first man and woman in Genesis 2:15–25 and then God’s answer through Jesus Christ to the problem created by the rejection of his offer. It’s not my intention today to fully unpack either of these passages but to show how obedience to God’s word can restore a situation that was previously assumed hopeless.

Let’s first consider the ideal relationship that God provided for Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. In the creation account of Genesis 2, God creates the world and declares all the He created was good. Saying something is good doesn’t mean much to us because we think of the categories of Good - Better - and Best. But the word of God reveals that God is good and that means nothing is better than Him and His works. God created everything to satisfy His purposes and it was all that humanity would need.

He places man in a garden where he can have fellowship and peace together with his Creator. God places a prohibition that Adam can eat from every tree of the garden but one, the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. Here God’s first words to man assume that he has the ability to choose and has the moral capacity and ability to responsibility choose for or against God.

Then God declares in verse 18, “it is not good that man should be alone, I will make him a helper fit for him.” Then in verses 21–24,

So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

The first woman was derived from man, giving him headship within the institution of marriage, but from that point forward men have been derived from women. In this first poem, Adam celebrates his wife’s kinship and equality with him as he names her Woman (Ishsha) which means the opposite of man. In relating this story to the children of Israel, Moses was teaching them that once a man is married his priorities change. Obligations to his wife take priority over every other relationship except with God.

This is the language of covenant commitment, and we are never more like our covenant-keeping God than when we pledge ourselves in covenant to one another. Marriage depicts God’s relationship to his people and becoming one flesh indicates that Adam was not complete until he became one with Eve. It wasn’t just the sexual union, but that neither one would be complete nor able to accomplish God’s purposes for them in creation without the other. Together they would raise up image bearers to accomplish the task of making the whole earth a place for God’s dwelling.

This was God’s perfect model but in order for it to work the man and woman would need to be in perfect fellowship and peace with God. It would be their choice to follow him faithfully or to turn away from his simple yet firm command. In choosing to ignore God’s command in the Garden of Eden, they were removed from the idyllic paradise that God had provided and were forced to survive by the sweat and toil of their own efforts.

Had Adam and Eve chosen to obey the command of God they would have remained within the Garden as it expanded outward through their children and to all generations of those who reaped the blessings offered by God the Creator to his creation. There would have been no death or sorrow but sweet communion with God and each other. Their goal was to subdue the earth and bring it into submission as they prepared a place just like Eden for God’s dwelling. The Kingdom of Heaven was to come down to Earth and the two were to be joined in peace and blessing.

In choosing to disobey the command of God, Adam and Eve brought the effects of sin into their lives and all creation as well. God had given them authority to rule and reign over his creation and they failed miserably. I guarantee you that their decision didn’t do much to enhance their relationship with each other either, and that problem has continued down through the millennia. In essence, they missed the mark.

In Ephesians 5:22–33, God gives us the formula to restore the relationship between husband and wife, and Christ’s relationship with the church is seen as the model. Let’s briefly look at the mechanics of this passage.

There are many pastors who hate to preach from verse 22 because in our modern, self-centered, and often radical feminist culture they fear being lambasted. The truth is that this section is very beautiful when properly understood but it does require that the foundation of our lives is our commitment to obeying God above all, just like it was for our first parents, Adam and Eve. If that is the goal then peace will be the reward.

The model that Paul is pointing to goes back to creation when woman was derived from man, giving him the lead role within the institution of marriage. In the book of Ephesians, Paul stresses the significance of headship in both the Old and New Covenants. This book is about the good news that as the head of the church Christ embodies and empowers a new community that is based on love and commitment to God and each other.

It was no longer to be about men and women as individuals —as the body of Christ each was equally important. That was the basis and summary of the Law: loving God with every ounce of our being and loving our neighbor as ourselves. Submitting first to Christ sets the foundation upon which every other relationship is built. In our passage, Paul applies Christ’s headship to marriage. He reverses the struggle and strife that often arises in a marriage due to the effects of the Fall, restoring the original creative order where husband and wife complement each other. Paul’s understanding of marriage was strongly grounded in creation, and he knew the effects of the Fall and sin even amongst Christians. He was calling a Christian wife to live in grateful acknowledgment of her husband’s care and leadership.

Of course, the question arises, “what if the husband is not providing godly care and leadership?” Unlike the respect that all are to give to Jesus, the respect that a wife gives to her husband is conditional. When human leaders violate divine law, we must remain loyal to God above all others but if a husband isn’t violating divine law then the wife, for the sake of Christ, should seek to treat him with respect.

As I said earlier, my intention this morning isn’t to unpack all that this passage has to offer but I do want to point out that the basis of submission for both men and women is Ephesians 5:21, “submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.” In Ephesians 5 Paul teaches that there is always an order for submission: all submit to Christ, wives submit to their husbands, children submit to their parents and slaves submit to their masters. Again, for husbands and wives the order was established in creation. That is a lot more to say about this but that will be for another time.

Let me briefly share with you how this passage, along with some others, saved our marriage. Years ago, our marriage was in serious trouble, Teresa didn’t want to hear about the order of creation because all she knew is that I was a lousy husband; she was tired of my foolishness and wanted me out. It didn’t seem that anything could be done. It was too late.

Well, let’s turn to Paul’s command to men in Ephesians 5:25, “Husbands love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her….”

In the past, I’ve shared with you several times how I grew sick and tired of myself and began to cry out to God to change me. I knew that I was messing up and didn’t really know how to change. I was a very immature believer and I had been praying that God would change Teresa, but I knew that I needed to focus on me changing. Out of desperation I began to pursue God daily, inviting him into every area of my life. Actually, I begged God to do something, anything because I had no idea what to do.

I saw this passage from Ephesians 5:25 and I remember wondering how I could pull that off. God opened up my understanding and showed me that He wasn’t calling me to love Teresa because she was being lovable, but I was to love her in the same way that Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. He didn’t lay his life down for his people because they were lovable but in spite of the fact that they usually weren’t.

Jesus was asking me to lay my life down for my wife and consider her more important than myself, and to do so regardless of her response. That was an entirely new way of thinking and I imagined that she was no longer willing to follow me because my leading always brought trouble. As far as she was concerned, we were done. I had definitely missed the mark.

I chose to turn to God asking him to show me how to love my wife as Christ loved the church and to daily show me how I was to lay down my life for her. I didn’t initially share this with her because I knew that she would only scoff. I had made too many promises that I had broken. This was between me and God, but it became the number one priority in my life. For the first time I genuinely wanted to be the man that God was calling me to be, and my wife and children needed me to be, so I became a man with a sole purpose. Approximately a year later Teresa gave me a birthday card where she had written, “I love the man you’ve become.”

I broke down in tears, both of relief and gratitude to God for doing something that seemed so impossible. Did things magically turn around overnight? No, but it began the process of healing that restored our marriage and even made it better than we had dreamed of. It was difficult and there was a lot of work that had to be done and bad habits that needed to be dealt with, especially on my part. We both found that the cost was well worth the benefit. This process began over 30 years ago, and it helped us form a pattern of faith in our lives. We learned these three principles:

Principle #1

It’s in the pursuit of God that we find the greatest change. For me, there was no amazing burst of light and color but as I fed upon his word and spent time in prayer and praise, I began to change. It was a little at a time but as I looked back I saw all that God was doing. It was a miracle.

Principle #2

Whenever we choose to follow God we reap the blessings of God’s best. Whenever we choose to follow after our own ways we reap the cost of our foolishness. We had paid a heavy price for my foolishness and there was no way that I wanted to go back to that.

Principle #3

God’s Word in you can be trusted to do the impossible. If you want to see miracles and experience the presence and joy found only through Jesus Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit, turn to his word, and follow it faithfully. If you are hungry for more of God and his power, He is waiting to give you all that you need.

As Christians we have got to get this right. The world needs to witness how we live for the glory of God and the good of our neighbor, instead of ourselves.

In our country today the kingdom of darkness is no longer hidden. Instead of sneaking around whispering temptations into our willing ears, they are coming out in the open displaying their wares and just daring anyone to stand up in open rebuke. While we were busy not paying attention they slithered into the school systems teaching godless moral values but couching them in phrases like calling the murder of the unborn “a woman’s reproductive right.” Teaching that same sex attraction is normal, as is being confused about gender and calling these things “loving enough to let them be who they want to be.” They use pornographic teaching materials to introduce children to a “healthy view of human sexuality” and invite transgenders to libraries to read stories to children. This is obscene but shows what can happen when God’s people are not “watchmen on the wall.”

People everywhere are asking, “How did this happen?” It happened because we were lulled to sleep and allowed one little really innocuous item at a time to slide by through amendment after amendment unchecked while at the same time the church started displaying the same percentage of divorces as the unchurched and the same percentage of “Christian” men struggling with pornography as the unbeliever. Next thing you know it’s 2020 and we’re in serious trouble. Now the same politicians who introduced those innocuous little bills are in power and demanding solutions that have nothing to do with the problems, but will exacerbate them. They might as well be suggesting that everyone needs to make sure they have the proper seasonal air in their tires.

I used the comparison between what God originally offered in the Garden and what we have ended up with because apparently we still want to eat the forbidden fruit.

The example from our lives that I shared with you this morning is where the fight must begin. We must believe that God’s word is true and that his ways must become our ways. Again we saw last week that it was this point that Jesus made in Luke 14. Those who decide to follow Jesus Christ need to know that their commitment must be total, or they would never be able to live up to their promise of faithfulness. Any compromise would lead to sin and unfaithfulness in the same way that a small hole in a dike will lead to a rupture of water eventually.

I admit that the idea of asking God to change you or inviting him to do whatever he wants in your life is scary. Who knows what God will do and it is most likely different for every person. I firmly believe that the only hope for our country and indeed the world is for Christians to decide that following Jesus is more important than anything else.

I continue to pursue God because I never want to go back to where I was. I have also seen what this world has to offer, and I can no longer afford to give my life to that. Most of us would agree that this country was founded on the blood and sacrifice of those who saw independence as more important than safety and comfort. Did you think fighting for the Kingdom of God would cost less? Our brethren from around the world say no, not less, the cost is total—but the reward is eternal.

I know these are heavy questions, but I am persuaded that we must have the courage to ask them or to courage to admit why we won’t. Is God trustworthy and can he be trusted with your life? I’m counting on it.

Let’s pray.


©2021 Rev. Mike Moffitt

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